i felt like making stats for some models i noticed GW have so far failed to produce. here's my first attempt:

Chuck Norris
f: 10/2+
s: 10
d: 4
a: 10
w: 10
c: 8

m: 3+3free per turn
w: 3+3free per turn
f: Chuck Norris doesn't need fate.

wargear: bare hands (counts as hand weapon)

special rules

roundhouse kick: Chuck unleashes a powerful kick which smashes through all defences
this is used in the shooting phase or just before Chuck charges (like a throwing weapon). this attack has an unlimited range as even if the opponent isn't hit by the kick, the wind generated by it is still enough to somehow kill them. chuck is obviously faster than the speed of light, so can use this attack 6 times instead of once, causing 2D6 automatic wounds each time. like a seige engine, if one wound is suffered, the model dies. any terrain 'in the way' is destroyed.

Defence against missiles: Chuck doesn't dodge bullets, they dodge him.
all shooting attacks or magical powers require a 6 followed by a 6 to hit because Chuck is so badass. also, such is his aura that this counts for all models in a 6" radius of Chuck. also, as his beard can deflect bullets, any shots that do hit must re roll successful wounds. three times.

Drawn fights: if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
in any tied fights, Chuck always counts as winning, even if the opponent has a fight value equal to Chucks.

Movement: Jesus walks on water. Chuck Norris swims through land.
Chuck Norris can move much faster than any mere mortal ever could. Chuck Norris can move anywhere he wants, whenever he wants. to represent this, chuck has an infinate move value and can move 'through' friendly and enemy models'. if he ends up on top of an opposing model, it is assumed that Chuck Norris will beat the **** out of them for getting in his way. remove them as a casualty.

Spinning kick: Chucks kick creates black holes
this special attack can be used as well or instead of the roundhouse kick. on a 2+, a black hole is created by the mighty kick, anywhere within 24" of Chuck. any models within 6" of the black hole are instantly pulled in and are removed as casualties. this lasts the whole game. NOTE: If Chuck Norris is pulled in, he simply eats the black hole, which tastes like chicken. any wounds inflicted on him earlier in the game are recovered.

Game Outcome: If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris
if for whatever reason, the player controlling Chuck Norris loses the game, the model they were using was in fact, not Chuck Norris at all. in this case, they were obviously using a different model, so the points cost for their army should have been different, and the whole battle was unfair on them. the Chuck Norris player counts as winning. forever. if this happens in a tournament, the liar claiming to have beaten Chuck Norris is instantly disqualified and must serve 500 hours of community service. all their models involved in the alleged 'defeating' of Chuck must be melted down into a lump shaped like Chuck Norris' head and sent as an offering to Chuck, with a letter of apology.

ok, so that was my attempt. i haven't game tested it yet, but i'm sure it would work after perhaps a few minor alterations. if anyone else has some stats for absolutely anyone, POST HERE.

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Hello.

LOL

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Flying is the practice of trying to crash into the ground and missing.

lolz are you gonna sculp the miniatuur too ? XD

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dead before oblivion

HAHAHAHA

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Hmm... what would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

I'm curious as to why only defence four, lol

thats a good point, and i suppose i ought to change it. although Chuck Norris wears no armour, if someone could ever somehow land a hit on him, which so far has never been done, their arm would shatter on impact.

how about this special rule-

if Chuck suffers any wounds in close combat, roll a die for the model which did it. on a roll of a 1+, it takes a wound. for every successful wound caused, the player controlling Chuck may roll again. this continues until either the model is dead, or Chuck fails to wound.

NOTE: for anyone thinking, 'hey, that means that Chuck Norris never misses', you're quite right. he doesn't.

alternatively, i have this rule-
if Chuck Norris suffers any wounds in close combat, they don't count.


i still haven't got a points cost for him, or a model. any suggestions appreciated.

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Hello.

No one sculpts Chuck Norris - Chuck Norris miniatures are created by acts of God.

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Dagster

Touche Alan!

The rules are hilarious. If we have the liberty of posting some of our own, this could turn out into a rather ridiculous sourcebook.

Hehe.....
Points cost: 850

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No one sculpts Chuck Norris - Chuck Norris miniatures are created by acts of God.
~ Dagorlad

Good guys finish last rule. Chuck can not be deployed on the first turn. This allows evil doers to hatch diabolical plots so that Chuck can save the day.

Diabolical plot. Evil genius realizes that good guys always win so he creates evil Chuck clone.The evil Chuck clone is not really a good guy so he can deploy in the first turn.
Good Chuck Vs bad Chuck see good guys always win rule.

Diabolical plot B Evil genius creates Army of Evil Chuck clones.

Diabolical plot C Good guys don't hit girls rule. Evil genius realizes that good guys can not hit girls. So If Chuck hits a girl he is no longer a good guy. Evil genius creates Army of Kate Beckinsale clones.

Miniature links
http://hasslefreeminiatures.co.uk/pack.php?pack=817
http://hasslefreeminiatures.co.uk/pack.php?pack=1592

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"the same as a duck you must be made of wood"

Also, No one can field Chuck Norris and Mister T in the same army.

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"Mickey, my friend!"

What about Borat?

Borat special moves:

Draw mankini: Borat pulls out his green mankini, stunning the enemy and preventing them from moving for the duration of the turn. The brains of enemies within a 5 cm range of Borat melt from overexposure to his awsomeness.

"Eat my radiation!": All miniatures, friend or foe, within a 10 cm range of Borat, die from radiation exposure, which effectively contaminated Borat when he lived in Khazakstan. Naturally, Borat can't die from radiation. To him, it tickles.

"Very nice!": Borat pulls out photo of his nephew, effectively lowering the self-esteem of all male soldiers on the battlefield and forcing them to retreat. Women are not affected.

"This my sister!": Borat summons his sister Natalia to the field. Uses her trophy as a projectile. Disappears after 5 turns.

The Fat Man's Revenge: Azamat cannonballs from his Stealth Icecream Van Plane into the center of enemy ranks, annihilating all miniatures within a 10 cm radius. His fat cushions him, saving him from death and bringing him into the battle on Borat's side.

The Fat Man's Second Revenge: Borat's bear jumps from the Stealth Icecream Van Plane, scaring all enemies within a 5 cm radius off the board.

"Great success!": All battles are unquestionably won by the side Borat is on. If the opponent refuses to acknowledge this, Borat will be forced to wrestle him naked.

Point cost: Pamela Anderson.

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An additional rule for Chuck Norris:

"Inception Mindbomb": Chuck Norris effectively fills the minds of all opposing miniatures with self-doubt as to whether or not they're on the right battlefield.

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Hmm... what would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

lololol some good, solid special rules there!!!

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Hello.

lol

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"War does not determine who is right, only who is left."
- Bertrand Russel

Superman:

Well, if you announce you're playing a house-rules Superman and your opponent still wants to play, you can think of the rules.

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Flying is the practice of trying to crash into the ground and missing.

I have one.

Kyle Katarn.

Exactly the same as Chuck Norris but he also has a lightsaber. Also, if he fights against Chuck Norris he will lose.

Special Rules

Lightsaber: Chuck Norris doesn't need lightsabers.

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(insert awesome signature here)

How about Matrix?

Neo

F/11/1+ S/11 D/3 A/15 W/1

Wargear: guns, fists, cool hair, and excessively awesome sunglasses

Special rules:

There is no spoon: If Neo is ever wounded in close combat or from any ranged attack, he instantly appears behind the attacker and inflicts 4D6 attacks upon them as he pwns them in various ways. The wound is then discounted unless it was caused by agent Smith or Elrond.

Fly: Neo has a move of 36" and has the fly ability

We need guns, lots of guns: once per turn, Neo can decide to use his guns. These work exactly like throwing weapons except it has a range of 60" and automatically inflicts 2D6 wounds plus another 2D6 wounds to reflect how awesome Neo is.

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"War does not determine who is right, only who is left."
- Bertrand Russel

Rules for:

The old lady in this vid:

F/1 S/1 D/1 A/1 W/1 C/6 Might:4, Will: 6, Fate: 0

Wargear:

The old lady is armed with a hand weapon (shopping bag).
At additional points cost she may be given the following wargear:

Luminous pruple hair (counts as banner): 25pts
Mobility scooter (counts as horse): 10pts

Special rules:

Hold up traffic:

If the old lady is withing 12" of charging cavalry, she will use her magical granny powers to miraculously get in the way of the cavalry (move the model as appropriate.) Place the model in base coontact with as many cavalry models as possible. All affected cavalry models become frustrated and begin rearing and blowing their horns to wake her up and get her out of their way, she automatically responds by swiping at them with her handbag. All affected models are dismounted and their horses are removed from play.

Octogenarian stubbornness:

The granny fears no man, even Chuck Norris can't intimidate her. Chuck suffers as above when he is mounted and charges the granny.

ROFL!

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"War does not determine who is right, only who is left."
- Bertrand Russel

Since Spuds came up with a neo profile, I shall make up some rules for Agent Smith.

Agent Smith (Elf)...................Cost: Neo (who must be include in the opposing force)

F-10/2+
S-10
D-10
A-*
W-N/A
C-8

M-10
W-10
F-0

Wargear: Agent Smith Shades, Hand Gun, and hands (hand weapons)

Note: Your force may only include one Elrond: Agent Smith; Elrond or Elrond, Master of Rivendell

Special Rules:
'We meet again Mr. Anderson, welcome back': When in combat with Neo, Agent Smith must attempt to transform Neo into an Agent Smith. On the succesful roll of a 6 (on a D6) Neo is transformed into an Agent Smith. However, as soon as the Neo model has been replaced with an Agent Smith, Neo Smith explodes, causing all Agent Smiths on the board to be removed from play. Because of this the side that Neo was on automaticaly wins.

'One of us...': Any Agent Smith model may attempt to transform any bystander model into a Smith. On the roll of a 3+ the model becomes a smith.

'The Matrix': When in combat with any model that is not Neo, Agent Smith automaticaly inflicts 2D6 wounds on each target model that he is fighting. Agent Smith always strikes first (unless the enemy model is Neo, in which case he only inflicts 2 wounds).

Unbeatable: Agent Smith is indestructable and can only be killed outright if the conditions for 'We meet again Mr. Anderson, welcome back' are met.

Hand Gun: S10; Range 48".

Fell free to quote my profile and add further rules to Smith.

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When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.

Backlog Reduction Oath Participant - 6/53